Thoughts about MPR

Yesterday was a long day, but very productive. Not that I’ve made or created something, I have made decisions based on others’ comments. Sometimes all you need is just to hear. Without trying to defend yourself. Just listen very carefully like someone would be talking about someone else’s work.

I guess, we live in a world, where art can be anything and it became so broad, that we get lost in ourselves and it is hard to give or receive critique or comments.

When it was my turn, I had to mute live stream during my video presentation, because I was scared; I felt embarrassed, scared, lost, my confidence was gone. I felt silly. I didn’t know what reaction I will receive from my work and thinking process. It was much scarier than presenting your work in an exhibition.

I am very thankful for all comments. Some made sense, some didn’t. I was glad that you understood about what I was making (since I haven’t received any comments what it was about and it all later escalated into discussion about ethics).

It was helpful to hear different opinions about the context, content and visual execution.

I feel that I’m going the right direction. Some people mentioned book about daily life relations and repetitions, and this what I was aiming (and still) aiming for.

Some questions hit me. Such as Why I picked a prostitute? And that it is such a vulnerable character. Before a MPR I was questioning myself similar questions and tried to define a prostitute. But now I will try to use stereotypes as a part of symbolism.

Somebody also mentioned that I draw from my memory and that the idea of drawing from memory is great, because it doesn’t capture the moment, but it comes like a dream, pure emotion. And yes, I draw characters from my head, but I was making backgrounds using photographs, and now I am thinking maybe I should create backgrounds how I’m imagining, how I remember. Maybe it was a problem to achieve transparency all this time, because of detailed backgrounds. It was mentioned that character becomes discrete.

I had a lot of good comments about my work, but suggestions what I can do with my work made think again. The use of materials. Why am I so stuck with using pencil? And only regular pencil?

I think, I want now to experiment with different materials. Instead of drawing everything with pencil, I can try a bit of painting. But what I understood, people like the space. They suggested to concentrate on the situation rather than on the place. Well, I’m not going to leave the place, however I am thinking of using only some details, which could tell that this is a public space. I made some works in the past without using a background, and I liked it, but it does feel so personal this time. I really feel like I need this.

After all, when people will see a final piece, nobody will be talking in the background and explaining the situation or importance of this and that.

Also, I was thinking that why I have to be stuck using white surface? Originally it was an idea for using projections, to create a moving image. But I am sure I can work if I use different colours and techniques. I feel how I don’t think of it is a drawing anymore.

It feels like my baby, who needs to be fed and changed and taught. It is everything and all mine. I am not afraid anymore of using my personal experiences or thoughts. Wondering if I can reflect some of my thoughts through symbolism?

I do want to create a game. Every time you pass through the situation, next time you come back it would be different. It would be shifting. Because some things seem that they don’t exist. That’s why.

So far, many ideas. Too many. It is impossible to tell all of them.

It was a good day. Tough, but good.


Thanks, everyone.